Life’s challenges have a way of bringing out the best in us—and sometimes the worst. Some people shine like beacons while others lash out, and still others fall apart and in extreme cases jump off bridges to end it all. I want to discuss the lashing-out and falling-apart types. If you live long enough, life will definitely throw you a curveball, by which I mean a challenge you never saw coming and which completely catches you off guard. It’s usually not fun; however, as you work through it, you often grow emotionally and spiritually and gain strength you may not have known you had.
The tongue is very small yet capable of causing a significant amount of trouble. People go wagging it about without giving a second thought to the devastation it can cause or the harm it can do.
In Psalms 34:13 (NIV), David says, “Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies.” He gives us a short sentence with a huge message and a piece of extremely good advice. Of course, “evil” is a subjective term. Some people think others deserve a good tongue-lashing regardless of the ramifications of their words. And haven’t we all at one time or another said that if nothing else we would feel better because we got something weighty off our chest? But ask yourself this question: did you really feel better? I never felt better after lashing out at someone, even if I thought that person deserved it. Almost always, he or she will become defensive or aggressive because his or her feelings may have been hurt. Moreover, things are said by both parties that damage the other. Are such damaging words “evil”? I don’t know, but they’re unquestionably not good.
Lashing out at someone with emotional, explosive words spoken with hateful intent seems to be more commonplace when people are under financial or personal stress. Are you living under such stress? Is it possible that lashing out has become the primary means of dealing with your stress? Chances are you can’t answer that question objectively, because in your eyes you can’t see or don’t want to believe that you would behave in such a manner. Therefore, ask a loved one or friend to be honest and tell you the truth.
Please don’t misunderstand. I’m not trying to accuse anyone. I’m being extremely truthful from my own experience, and fortunately God helped me to recognize my personal path of destruction before my behavior alienated my whole family. What you communicate can be the “kiss of death.” If you belittle, criticize, correct, embarrass, or ridicule someone, regardless of the situation, you can deliver a kiss of death to their emotional and spiritual well-being—and to your own.
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